Happiness is a choice and purpose is a verb, how we change over time

There have been many studies into the different stages of life that we usually all go through and why happiness is a choice. A small percentage deviates from the norm, but generally everyone – whether we like it or not – is subjected to the same stages.

One could say that the happiness phases depend on the primary need that people have. Unfortunately, in the first four phases, it is usually you who are central. Only in the final phase, it will become clear that life is actually about others and yourself. You begin to realize that life is all about adding value and meaningfulness.

The 5 stages of life that most of us go through

1. The learning phase in life

In the first 8 to 12 years of life, we are completely dependent on our parents or guardian. It is the phase in which we learn fundamental things such as eating, drinking, walking, speaking, and interacting with other people. We look around us with a curious eye and absorb quickly while being flexible in our thinking. If one doesn’t work, we try the other, just as long as we get what we want or realize that it will never work.

2. The development phase in life

From the learning phase to the age of 18 to 22, we are in the development phase. We get to know our identity and start getting values, norms, and principles. By forming our own opinion, we do things and other things not. Slowly we begin to develop an idea of the future for ourselves and adjust our choices accordingly.

This phase often goes hand in hand with the so-called adolescence, in which hormones can cause the person and his environment to get really upset. Opinions can already be strongly formed, but due to a lack of life experience often not or are poorly substantiated. A dialogue about this can be accompanied by the hormones that cause frustrations and other emotions that do not benefit a solution.

3. The goals phase in life

Between the ages of 18 and usually, somewhere around 40 or 45, we focus on goals. This can be an urge for a career or a family, a nice car, or a big house with a large bank account. It is different for everyone, but whatever we aim for, we want to give up a lot for it. Most of us are willing to give up a lot of freedom, fun, and happiness, and sometimes we even go as far as to achieve our goals at the expense of others.

4. The resignation phase in life

Once over 45, most of us are in a resignation phase. We are satisfied with what we have achieved or have given up to achieve what has not been achieved yet. Stress is converted into resignation. We learn to enjoy friends and nature again and become softer as humans. The urge to perform is exchanged for the desire to be there and to enjoy.

5. The purpose phase in life

From the age of 60, most people learn why we are here on earth. We learn to add value to others and learn difficult concepts such as forgiveness and tolerance. Life’s experience teaches us that striving for wealth, power, fame, and all those senseless quarrels for nothing, have led us nowhere but too much misery. They start to master how to grow old happy and healthy, but for some, it’s already to late.

Looking back at the mistakes we’ve made, we’re running out of time to fix them. Things like love, caring for the community, and not damaging nature for the sake of future generations suddenly become very important. We want to contribute to something bigger than ourselves of which we are still part of. This is what is also known as purpose.

How do you develop a purpose in life?

Many older people would wish they had understood the concept of purpose before. It would have enriched their lives; they had been far less concerned with negative things and had happily grown old.

Global access to the Internet makes it easier for us to get informed. What used to be about scoring and performance, more and more young people see through all the information they consume that there is more in life. They also become more aware of their higher intentions in life, stop living attentional driven, and automatically develop ideas about purpose earlier.

Unfortunately, this is not yet the case for everyone. Because of the influence of their childhood, education, cultural background, and environment, they can still be tempted to follow the traditional path of life. For them, the purpose only becomes a theme when time is running out.

To create purpose in life is to create happiness in life

Happiness is a choice only you can make

Purpose is a verb. Everyone can find out what life is all about for him or her. We don’t have to wait until you’re too old to make a difference. By reading, continuing to ask yourself and others questions, and searching for your highest intention, you can speed up the time to realize your purpose in life. That makes that happiness is a choice only you can make.